For the past two days for lunch I have made a bowl of rice with a little peanut butter and soy sauce. It tastes like pad thai, almost. I like it. It's part of my new habit as I try to spend only $21 this week on food. I was asked to only spend that much money because that is what food stamp recipients get, and we are part of a national effort to raise awareness about the hunger in America, especially by people who are on food stamps. It has been interesting. It has made me remember my Mom buying groceries and all five children eating them up before the week was up and by the last couple of days, she was making pancake dinners. It was a really great memory of how she always did her best for us and how grateful we were for the food in our lives.
I can't believe how much money I waste in my life by being so lazy about food. Along with the sweet memories, I am feeling some guilt about how much money I have wasted for years on food. There is nothing in my life I wouldn't share with anyone who came across my path in Magdalene, or in the Church Community, or in the work in Ecuador and Africa---and I have felt happy about all of that. I think because I have been so focused on those endeavors, I have gotten super lazy about how I conduct my own family and feel entitled in some weird way to spending tons of money on food because I am really "busy". Anyway, this, more than a good long fast, is helping.