Jordan, Amy and I were getting ready to present at the Nebraska Synod Assembly in Fremont this past weekend. This picture captures the moment before we begin to make friends with people we have never met. We had done all our work to prepare, we had made tons of products, I had written a talk about who we are and how we fit into their vision of growing faith, and the table is set. We were just sitting and waiting as the business part of the gathering unfolds. The time before is always full of anticipation-- when I second guess myself, the work, and if it will be okay. I bet I have sat in that space a thousand times, but still the worry that it won't go well rises in my chest and I feel worried that I might let the community down. "What if it doesn't go well? What if we come all this way and sell just a few hundred dollars?" There are another few questions like this that pop into my head. "That never happens," I remind myself. "Carole, Tim and Holli will be fine with us no matter what." If I worry about this, Jordan and Amy must feel the same way.
I remember, sitting in the back, that I have prayer. It is honestly the only thing that helps me before it all unfolds. And here is mine:
Please let me get out of the way.
Remove all my old ego stuff.
Let me make this day an offering and be open to the spirit moving---in my talk, in my conversations, and in my heart.
Forgive me all my impatience and worry.
Thank you for loving all of us.
Thank you for this chance to make new friends and for the work of Thistle Farms.